John Robertson never wanted children. He’d watched friends with kids and decided it wasn’t for him. But life had other plans. When his wife Kelly wanted to start a family, John agreed. Now, he’s the father of two boys—John Matthew and Elliott Spencer—and they’ve become the center of his world. This is the story of how a man who thought he didn’t want children became a devoted father.
The Decision to Have Children
“Now, when Kelly came to me and asked, ‘You don’t have any children, right?’ I said no, and she said, ‘I would like to have a baby.’ I thought about it, and just trying to keep my wife happy, I said okay.”
It was a decision that would change everything. At 47, John became a father for the first time. Two years and four days later, he had another son.
The Pregnancy Announcement
The moment John learned he was having a son is one of the happiest memories in his book. Kelly brought him lunch at work and handed him an ultrasound picture. “I looked at it. It was an ultrasound picture of our baby, and there was a caption at the bottom that said, ‘Look, Daddy, I have a penis.’ I was in shock but happy.”
The Guilt
John carries guilt about his children that’s directly related to his brain injury. He worries that his temper, his impulsivity, his emotional regulation issues—all symptoms of his injury—have affected them. “Kelly and I used to argue in front of the boys a lot, and I knew this wasn’t right.”
The School Refusal
In recent years, John has been dealing with what’s called “school refusal” with both his sons. His oldest, John Matthew, told him it has a lot to do with anxiety. “I believe him because I deal with anxiety, and so does his mother.”
His youngest, Elliott, is hyperactive and doesn’t like taking medication. “I know he can’t help it, but he will take medicine for his dad.”
The Lessons He Teaches
Despite the challenges, John tries to teach his boys important lessons:
- Hard work matters: He works hard and wants them to see that
- Family is important: He stays connected with them despite living apart
- Don’t give up: His story is a lesson in perseverance
- Take care of your health: He quit drinking so they wouldn’t see him drunk
- Be honest: He’s open about his struggles
The Conversations
One of the most touching moments in John’s book is a conversation with his youngest son Elliott. Elliott told his father, “Why should I waste time going to school when Russia and China are going to kill us all?” It’s a chilling reminder that children absorb the anxieties of the world around them.
The Future
John’s oldest son tells him, “Dad, you are going to be okay.” John is preparing for the future, making sure his affairs are in order. “Well, just in case, I have all my I’s dotted and T’s crossed just in case.”
What John Wants for His Sons
At the end of his book, John shares his hopes:
- A better world for the next generation
- Freedom from greed and fossil fuels
- The opportunity to build a life without fear
- The chance to be happy
The Love
Despite everything—the arguments, the distance, the struggles—John loves his sons deeply. “I love my boys so much, and I pay my child support every month. They behave pretty well for their dad, but when they go back to their mom, it’s totally different, and I don’t know why.”
Conclusion
John Robertson never wanted to be a father. But when his children arrived, they became the most important people in his life. His story is a reminder that sometimes the things we think we don’t want become the things we can’t live without. And that even with a brain injury, a man can be a good father—not a perfect one, but a loving one.
